I took the eye pad off, and there it was: light, bright blue sky with the most pastel of clouds, a pale breeze shimming the bare branch, and the whole world welcoming me. The last few weeks were populated by a cold that wouldn’t let go, regular intervals of herbal and over-the-counter cold medicines in between irregular intervals of travel, and a whole lot of worry about the too many things I had taken on, all of which required heavy-pushing now. In the last week especially, there were wonderful occasions (some of which necessitated Spanx, stockings and high heels) interspersed with frenetic catch-up at the computer and bouts of worry about the three near-adult (or already adult) children. But now the living is easy.
As for the time behind, I once again thrashed around a cage of my own making, taking on too much to keep in balance with living happily in this house of life, in balance with this body. Why? Because I could, because all was thrilling and interesting, and because of habit and hard wiring. Doing too much is akin to eating too much of the wrong foods at the cocktail party (which I also did this week): heady and tasty at the moment, but I wake the next morning with a migraine.
The day ahead? This and that of course, but mostly enjoying the spaciousness of better health and less pressure, the capacity to breathe more mindfully, the cat asleep in my arms as I type this, the birdsong, and the promise that if I just aim myself well, I will be putting tiny seeds in small containers of topsoil, setting them in the sun and dreaming of the garden to come.