Then I woke up.
But while I was asleep, I had an adventure of the presidential sort. It turned out that, one day after throwing my hat in the next presidential election, I won. Right afterwards, I ran into Jimmy Carter, looking over organic vegetables at the Merc (our food co-op), and he was so glad to see me. Turns out we’re old friends. He asked if I’d like him to cone over and talk with me about this big change in my life, and of course, I agreed.
In no time, we were in my living room. Jimmy was so warm and loving, joking with me about how sudden it all was, and suggesting we have a little ex-president posse visit with me to help me prepare.
“The Bushes too?” I asked.
“Why not?” he replied.
I had always wanted to meet Obama (perhaps “meet him again” would be more accurate since I met him in a previous dream recently when I saved his life from a conspiring campaign aide), and I knew Clinton would be a blast to hang with, and so Jimmy and I talked over what I might prepare for dinner with everyone. I thought pot roast might be good, but it’s hard to know how small the brisket might turn out to be after putting it into the crockpot. You wouldn’t want to run out of meat when you have a table full of ex-presidents.
“I make a mean meatloaf,” I told Jimmy.
“Meatloaf, it is,” he replied.
I started to plot running to Checkers to get supplies whipped potatoes, and some cases of fizz water too, when it occurred to me that my life was about to change, perhaps more drastically than I wishes. A doom would be placed over me, and I wouldn’t be able to go shopping at the drop of a hat, secret service men would guard me at all hours, and strangely enough, there would be orange roses everywhere.
“Why orange roses?” I asked Jimmy.
“You had them as the symbol of your campaign. Do you like orange roses?”
“I can deal with them,” I answered. “But now I have to come up with policies on everything, and that will be majorly exhausting.”
“That’s why you need the meatloaf,” he answered. And he was right because Jimmy Carter just about always is.